destiny_key | Recolle

[ Winters are cold basically everywhere Minato's lived before, but he still doesn't like it, nodding just once so that he can keep his mouth covered and not breathe in the cool air that would send him into a coughing fit after the warmth of the house, and needlessly worry his cousin or the dog.

He opens the door and steps out, leaving Sora to lock it behind him, and picks his way towards the sidewalk in slow careful steps. Buck will lead the way, he supposes, as dogs do when they have an established walking route. ]

[They walk in silence for a while, the sidewalks lit by only the streetlamps and the lights from houses they pass. Almost no one has their Christmas decorations out yet, but one or two homes have a string of lights or two that likely were just forgotten from last year. It's kind of nice to be able to go outside at night, now that the fog is gone.

It's a while before Sora decided to interrupt the quiet that's developed.]

So. Um... Why'd you wanna hang out tonight?

[ He liked the silence and wish it would last forever, but walking in silence isn't really the same as hanging out, of enjoying something together that isn't just faintly smiling at Buck's swaying tail, of learning more about Sora which was his reason but now that he's being asked, it gets caught in his throat instead of coming out.

Why reach out in the first place? Saying it's obligation as family sounds cold, but isn't untrue. It isn't the whole truth either. Part of him felt that obligation. Part of him wants to be the sort of person who wants to, even if he doesn't need to. It's hard to pick apart the difference, and Minato turns his eyes down and speaks to his boots instead of looking over at Sora when he finally answers. ]

...Dunno. Family is supposed to mean something, I think. But sometimes... I don't feel that anymore. [ Or anything, really. Love. Affection. Certain things meant for people in general that he'd bottled up and cast aside, knowing that it isn't healthy, not knowing how to get it back. ] Guess I wanted to see if I felt any different around you.

[Sora's eyes light up in understanding when his question is answered, followed by a sadness when he realizes the meaning of it. He feels bad now, that he asked that question, but someone just wanting to get to know him like this is a foreign feeling.

But he understands how Minato feels. He loves his family, but sometimes... He thinks about his brother, and he understands.]

Do you? Feel any different?

[A pause. He hopes he's not being taken the wrong way. It was never his intention to make Minato feel bad about it.]

It's not that I'm not happy to hang out with you! I think you're really cool! But, just, most people... I mean... I've never had anyone just wanna hang out with me before.

No. [ is the truth that comes out, because "yes" would lead to questions of what he feels or what is different. Instead, he feels just the same: uncertain, anxious, like he's waiting for something and can't tell whether he should be anticipating it in dread or excitement. He clamps down on all of that too, and pushes it aside, finally lifting his chin to look at Sora, surprise on his face more than anything. ]

I'm not cool. And you... seem like the type of person who gets along with people. Who has lots of friends, people who care about you.

[ People to hang out with, essentially, who are much cooler, much more fun and exciting than Minato is. ]

I... Not... really...

[He stutters on the words, because Minato's not wrong, but he's not right, either. Sure, he gets along with people fine. He tries to be nice to everyone, and most people are nice back. There are a lot of people he'd consider friendly.

But no one ever gets closer than that, either. People who care about him? Most of them are adults or older kids, and even they seem fleeting sometimes. Peers his own age feel more like acquaintances.

It's gotten better, since Retrospec happened, and there are people who might be considered casual friends, but the only close relationships in his life are his mother, Minako, and his animals. No one he can just hang out with. If those people exist, he can't see them.]

[ The glance turns into a focused stare, wondering which of his three-part comment Sora is disagreeing with. It couldn't be all three, because he... Well, truth be told, he doesn't know any of Sora's friends, and is only making assumptions from seeing his interactions on Retrospec, where everyone there is overly friendly that it's sort of unsettling. ]

Not really, huh?

[ He turns away again, eyes back on the swish-swish of Buck's tail, making the decision to take Sora's word for it. Better than projecting expectations on somebody, the same way he doesn't want expectations being pushed upon him. Kind of impossible when you share a name and face with somebody as indomitably bright and outgoing as his sister. ]

I'm the same way. Having only a few, close friends. [ He can probably count on one hand how many he would consider friends, though when he tries to think of names, they don't come. ] Not saying it's a good thing or a bad thing... but it's fine. Doesn't matter. Those things will come in time.

[ So don't worry? Here, like always, is where he's acutely aware of how lacking he is in consoling others, but he just tells himself that's not what he's trying to do. He's just stating an opinion, for Sora to take from it what he will. ]

[Sora doesn't say anything, thinking about Minato's words. He trains his eyes on following Buck instead.

But, really, Sora is nothing if not an optimist, and he wants to think that, maybe someday, things will get better. Truth be told, despite everything that's happening around him, he's lonely. He loves his mother and family, but what he really wants is friends. Real friends.

When his answer finally comes, it's short. He still doesn't know what to say. But Minato was truthful and kind, and he appreciates that. Maybe someday it'll come true.]

Okay.

[ The "okay" brings from Minato a sigh of relief, a deep exhale that lets go of some of his concerns— for as bad with words as he is, somehow, he was able to convey his thoughts to Sora in a way that wasn't upsetting like he worried it might be.

Okay is... Okay. Good. There's not much else he can think of to say in following up, so what he gives to Sora instead is a smile.

His first family member smile.

That Sora got before Minako.

Don't tell her. ]

[Sora's eyes light up at being gifted with a smile, and he grins up at Minato in return. Maybe this started out awkwardly, but he can't help but think he and his cousin have quite a few similarities. He wouldn't mind doing this again, actually.]

Recolle | IC Inbox

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject